Back-Alley Bully Yi Jun-gyu
Oh Han Ki. Novelist. Analrealist.
Jeong Jidon. Born in Daegu in 1983. Writer. Analrealist.
Yi SangWoo. Yi SangWoo. Analrealist.
Translated by Seth Warnick
Prologue. MANGWON ELEMENTARY SCHOOL – DAWN
Yi Jun-gyu* (46) and an elementary school kiddo (12)
face off on the field.
Between them is a soccer ball.
Powerful music plays
as the two run towards the ball!
Kwakwang!
CUT TO:
The soccer ball slowly rolls away.
The camera moves to show Yi Jun-gyu fall to his knees in front of the kiddo.
YI JUN-GYU
I lost.
The kiddo stands arms folded, feet apart.
Yi Jun-gyu crawls between the kiddo’s legs.
YI JUN-GYU
I won’t forget this insult. Three feet is three feet, three feet is three feet…
Title against the backdrop of the soccer ball
BACK-ALLEY BULLY YI JUN-GYU
Part 1: North Korea
Scene 1: UNIFICATION PARK – DAY
Yi Jun-gyu wears a bomber jacket and carries a duffle bag on his shoulder
He sets out to undergo hellish training in order to beat the kiddo.
Yi Jun-gyu looks up at the sky.
The clouds are moving north.
Scene 2: DMZ – NIGHT
Yi Jun-gyu holds his duffle bag tightly
He exhales heavily and gets ready to run.
Yi Jun-gyu runs as fast as he can across the DMZ.
Mines begin to explode behind him.
Alarms sound.
LOUDSPEAKER
Intruder alert! Intruder alert!!
Bullets fly from both the north and south sides.
Yi Jun-gyu turns sharply and runs in a zigzag pattern.
Mines continue to go off and artillery missiles fire.
The DMZ is shot to hell.
Yi Jun-gyu pierces through the flames and smoke!
He swiftly jumps over the barbed wire!
Scene 3: DOWNTOWN PYONGYANG – DAY
Yi Jun-gyu walks through downtown Pyongyang.
Eventually, he catches sight of a Pyongyang cold noodle restaurant.
Scene 4: INSIDE THE PYONGYANG COLD NOODLE RESTAURANT – DAY
Yi Jun-gyu eats cold noodles.
Then suddenly special forces soldiers burst through the restaurant’s windows.
The special forces unit swarms in like a pack of dogs.
They aim their guns at Yi Jun-gyu.
The restaurant is silent except for the sound of Yi Jun-gyu slurping his noodles.
YI JUN-GYU
Slurp.
The captain of the special forces unit puts a gun to his head.
YI JUN-GYU
I’ll go after I finish this.
CAPTAIN
(with a North Korean accent)
Eat quickly.
Yi Jun-gyu downs the broth.
Scene 5: AN INDOOR ARENA INSIDE THE PRESIDENTIAL PALACE – DAY
Yi Jun-gyu is tied up in the middle of the arena.
A door opens and Kim Jong Un (32–34), National Defense Chairman, enters with bodyguards.
KIM JONG UN
(with a North Korean accent)
Now then, if you win this match, I’ll let you live.
A door on the opposite side opens and Dennis Rodman enters, dribbling a basketball.
Dennis Rodman does an alley-oop.
DENNIS RODMAN
(in English)
Yo, man.
The bodyguards untie Yi Jun-gyu.
Yi Jun-gyu looks at Dennis Rodman in disbelief.
YI JUN-GYU
For Rodman, it’s basketball, but for me, it’s soccer. So how can we possibly play a game together?
Chairman Kim Jong Un stares intently at Yi Jun-gyu.
KIM JONG UN
Comrade, you only know one side of the story. That’s what’s called a poem.
In an instant, Yi Jun-gyu is stunned.
He staggers back and a memory comes to him.
INSERT SHOT OF: a young Yi Jun-gyu.
He runs on a grass field with the dog he raised in his youth, Witty (3).
Witty jumps to fetch a ball and runs back into Yi Jun-gyu’s arms.
Dim memories of happily cuddling together.
Scene 6: ARENA INSIDE THE PRESIDENTIAL PALACE – Day
Dennis Rodman kneels in the center of the court.
The basketball slowly rolls away.
Yi Jun-gyu stands arms folded, feet apart.
Dennis Rodman crawls between Yi Jun-gyu’s legs.
DENNIS RODMAN
(In English)
Yo, man…
Chairman Kim Jong Un applauds.
KIM JONG UN
(In English)
Wonderful!!
END
Part 2 South Korea
Scene 7: YANGHWA BRIDGE – DAY
Yi Jun-gyu crosses Yanghwa Bridge.
He stares at the surging waves of the Han River.
Just then he feels someone’s gaze watching him.
A man standing on the opposite footpath stares at him.
It is Kim Ki-duk** (56).
Scene 8: HAN RIVER PARK – DAY
Yi Jun-gyu and Kim Ki-duk sit side by side on a bench drinking soju.
KIM KI-DUK
Please be in my movie.
Yi Jun-gyu nods his head.
Scene 9: MOVIE SET, OLYMPIC PARK – DAY
On the set of Kim Ki-duk’s newest film entitled Sohn Kee-chung
Yi Jun-gyu plays the role of Sohn Kee-chung.
Yi Jun-gyu wears clothes emblazoned the Japanese flag.
Kim Ki-duk, approaches Yi Jun-gyu and with some directions.
KIM KI-DUK
This is the last scene. When you come in, run backwards.
YI JUN-GYU
What do you mean, run backwards?
Yi Jun-gyu looks taken aback.
Kim Ki-duk stares intently at Yi Jun-gyu.
KIM KI-DUK
It seems you only know one side of the story. This is a poem.
In an instant, Yi Jun-gyu has an epiphany.
He stumbles and groans.
Eureka…
INSERT SHOT OF: a future Yi Jun-gyu.
He’s become an old man with white hair, playing in a field with a dog, Cucumber (Witty’s grandson).
Cucumber runs back into Yi Jun-gyu’s arms.
Dim memories of happily cuddling together.
Scene 9: MOVIE SET AT OLYMPIC PARK – DAY
Yi Jun-gyu runs backwards across the finish line.
Kim Ki-duk, tears flowing, crys “cut.”
KIM KI-DUK
Cut!!
The staff clap.
Yi Jun-gyu lies on the track.
A bird flies across the blue sky.
END
Part 3 The Blue
Scene 10: THE SKY – DAY
A naked Yi Jun-gyu has become a bird.
Yi Jun-gyu flies through the heavens.
He disappears into the blue.
Subtitles appear against the background of the sky.
(In a traditional font) What is a poem since democratization in ‘87?
* A South Korean poet born in 1970 and debuted in 2000. – Editor
** One of the most important figures in the Korean cinema. He has been recognized internationally for his artistic delicacy. In 2018, three years after Analrealism vol. 1 was published, he was accused of a series of physical violence and sexual assaults. – Editor
Oh Han Ki. Born in 1985. Novelist. Oh has written Prosopopoeia, A Man Who Became a Flamingo, I Live Off the Grid.*
*Oh Han Ki’s A Man Who Became a Flamingo will be featured in Issue 5.
Jeong Jidon. Born in 1983. Jeong is the winner of the 2013 Munhakgwa Sahoe [Literature and Society] New Writer’s Award, the 2015 Munhakdongne Young Writers’ Award, and the 2016 Moonji Literature Award. He also represented the Korean Pavillion in the 2018 Venice Architecture Biennale as a writer. Jeong has published numerous works, including Like I’m Fighting, A Little Coward’s New Cowardly Party, The Joy of Literature (co-published), and We Will Live In the Memory of Others.
Yi SangWoo. Born in 1988. Studied Creative Writing at the Seoul Institute of the Arts, Yi made his debut when he was awarded the 2011 Munhakdongne New Writer in Fiction Prize for his short story “Mid-Autumn Moon Gazing” and has published collections of stories, Prism and warp.
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Back-Alley Bully Yi Jun-gyu
Oh Han Ki. Novelist. Analrealist.
Jeong Jidon. Born in Daegu in 1983. Writer. Analrealist.
Yi SangWoo. Yi SangWoo. Analrealist.
Translated by Seth Warnick
Prologue. MANGWON ELEMENTARY SCHOOL – DAWN
Yi Jun-gyu* (46) and an elementary school kiddo (12)
face off on the field.
Between them is a soccer ball.
Powerful music plays
as the two run towards the ball!
Kwakwang!
CUT TO:
The soccer ball slowly rolls away.
The camera moves to show Yi Jun-gyu fall to his knees in front of the kiddo.
YI JUN-GYU
I lost.
The kiddo stands arms folded, feet apart.
Yi Jun-gyu crawls between the kiddo’s legs.
YI JUN-GYU
I won’t forget this insult. Three feet is three feet, three feet is three feet…
Title against the backdrop of the soccer ball
BACK-ALLEY BULLY YI JUN-GYU
Part 1: North Korea
Scene 1: UNIFICATION PARK – DAY
Yi Jun-gyu wears a bomber jacket and carries a duffle bag on his shoulder
He sets out to undergo hellish training in order to beat the kiddo.
Yi Jun-gyu looks up at the sky.
The clouds are moving north.
Scene 2: DMZ – NIGHT
Yi Jun-gyu holds his duffle bag tightly
He exhales heavily and gets ready to run.
Yi Jun-gyu runs as fast as he can across the DMZ.
Mines begin to explode behind him.
Alarms sound.
LOUDSPEAKER
Intruder alert! Intruder alert!!
Bullets fly from both the north and south sides.
Yi Jun-gyu turns sharply and runs in a zigzag pattern.
Mines continue to go off and artillery missiles fire.
The DMZ is shot to hell.
Yi Jun-gyu pierces through the flames and smoke!
He swiftly jumps over the barbed wire!
Scene 3: DOWNTOWN PYONGYANG – DAY
Yi Jun-gyu walks through downtown Pyongyang.
Eventually, he catches sight of a Pyongyang cold noodle restaurant.
Scene 4: INSIDE THE PYONGYANG COLD NOODLE RESTAURANT – DAY
Yi Jun-gyu eats cold noodles.
Then suddenly special forces soldiers burst through the restaurant’s windows.
The special forces unit swarms in like a pack of dogs.
They aim their guns at Yi Jun-gyu.
The restaurant is silent except for the sound of Yi Jun-gyu slurping his noodles.
YI JUN-GYU
Slurp.
The captain of the special forces unit puts a gun to his head.
YI JUN-GYU
I’ll go after I finish this.
CAPTAIN
(with a North Korean accent)
Eat quickly.
Yi Jun-gyu downs the broth.
Scene 5: AN INDOOR ARENA INSIDE THE PRESIDENTIAL PALACE – DAY
Yi Jun-gyu is tied up in the middle of the arena.
A door opens and Kim Jong Un (32–34), National Defense Chairman, enters with bodyguards.
KIM JONG UN
(with a North Korean accent)
Now then, if you win this match, I’ll let you live.
A door on the opposite side opens and Dennis Rodman enters, dribbling a basketball.
Dennis Rodman does an alley-oop.
DENNIS RODMAN
(in English)
Yo, man.
The bodyguards untie Yi Jun-gyu.
Yi Jun-gyu looks at Dennis Rodman in disbelief.
YI JUN-GYU
For Rodman, it’s basketball, but for me, it’s soccer. So how can we possibly play a game together?
Chairman Kim Jong Un stares intently at Yi Jun-gyu.
KIM JONG UN
Comrade, you only know one side of the story. That’s what’s called a poem.
In an instant, Yi Jun-gyu is stunned.
He staggers back and a memory comes to him.
INSERT SHOT OF: a young Yi Jun-gyu.
He runs on a grass field with the dog he raised in his youth, Witty (3).
Witty jumps to fetch a ball and runs back into Yi Jun-gyu’s arms.
Dim memories of happily cuddling together.
Scene 6: ARENA INSIDE THE PRESIDENTIAL PALACE – Day
Dennis Rodman kneels in the center of the court.
The basketball slowly rolls away.
Yi Jun-gyu stands arms folded, feet apart.
Dennis Rodman crawls between Yi Jun-gyu’s legs.
DENNIS RODMAN
(In English)
Yo, man…
Chairman Kim Jong Un applauds.
KIM JONG UN
(In English)
Wonderful!!
END
Part 2 South Korea
Scene 7: YANGHWA BRIDGE – DAY
Yi Jun-gyu crosses Yanghwa Bridge.
He stares at the surging waves of the Han River.
Just then he feels someone’s gaze watching him.
A man standing on the opposite footpath stares at him.
It is Kim Ki-duk** (56).
Scene 8: HAN RIVER PARK – DAY
Yi Jun-gyu and Kim Ki-duk sit side by side on a bench drinking soju.
KIM KI-DUK
Please be in my movie.
Yi Jun-gyu nods his head.
Scene 9: MOVIE SET, OLYMPIC PARK – DAY
On the set of Kim Ki-duk’s newest film entitled Sohn Kee-chung
Yi Jun-gyu plays the role of Sohn Kee-chung.
Yi Jun-gyu wears clothes emblazoned the Japanese flag.
Kim Ki-duk, approaches Yi Jun-gyu and with some directions.
KIM KI-DUK
This is the last scene. When you come in, run backwards.
YI JUN-GYU
What do you mean, run backwards?
Yi Jun-gyu looks taken aback.
Kim Ki-duk stares intently at Yi Jun-gyu.
KIM KI-DUK
It seems you only know one side of the story. This is a poem.
In an instant, Yi Jun-gyu has an epiphany.
He stumbles and groans.
Eureka…
INSERT SHOT OF: a future Yi Jun-gyu.
He’s become an old man with white hair, playing in a field with a dog, Cucumber (Witty’s grandson).
Cucumber runs back into Yi Jun-gyu’s arms.
Dim memories of happily cuddling together.
Scene 9: MOVIE SET AT OLYMPIC PARK – DAY
Yi Jun-gyu runs backwards across the finish line.
Kim Ki-duk, tears flowing, crys “cut.”
KIM KI-DUK
Cut!!
The staff clap.
Yi Jun-gyu lies on the track.
A bird flies across the blue sky.
END
Part 3 The Blue
Scene 10: THE SKY – DAY
A naked Yi Jun-gyu has become a bird.
Yi Jun-gyu flies through the heavens.
He disappears into the blue.
Subtitles appear against the background of the sky.
(In a traditional font) What is a poem since democratization in ‘87?
* A South Korean poet born in 1970 and debuted in 2000. – Editor
** One of the most important figures in the Korean cinema. He has been recognized internationally for his artistic delicacy. In 2018, three years after Analrealism vol. 1 was published, he was accused of a series of physical violence and sexual assaults. – Editor
Oh Han Ki. Born in 1985. Novelist. Oh has written Prosopopoeia, A Man Who Became a Flamingo, I Live Off the Grid.*
*Oh Han Ki’s A Man Who Became a Flamingo will be featured in Issue 5.
Yi SangWoo. Born in 1988. Studied Creative Writing at the Seoul Institute of the Arts, Yi made his debut when he was awarded the 2011 Munhakdongne New Writer in Fiction Prize for his short story “Mid-Autumn Moon Gazing” and has published collections of stories, Prism and warp.
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